Forgive, So You Can Be Free

This will be the first time I write about a situation while I am in the midst of it. "And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death." Revelations 12:11

Unforgiveness can become a huge stronghold in the life of a believer.  Up until this past Sunday, I thought I was living a life FILLED with forgiveness. But God loves me enough to let me know that isn't so. 

To make the beginning of a long story very short, I have been battling a VERY annoying sickness for about 6 years.  I never went to the doctor to discover the root of it because I wanted to trust God to heal me.  However, last September this sickness was causing me to miss work so I decided to go and get myself checked out.  Went to the doctor, got the diagnoses, rebuked the report and went back to praying. 

On Sunday I woke up in pain and PLEADED with God, I asked God "why wont you heal me?! I'm trusting you, I'm standing on your word and I have been battling this sickness for 6 years" and He simply said "Because you haven't forgiven your mother." In this moment I broke down, I knew unforgiveness could cause physical sickness, but I thought I had forgiven her.  I regularly prayed for her, prayed that God would remove the unforgiveness but the seed was still planted deep in my heart.

So now my journey for true forgiveness begins.  The first step was to talk to my First Lady.  Throughout my life I have told two or three people bits and pieces of the hurt from my childhood, but never fully disclosed it.  I built up a wall to protect my heart from the "bad guys" all the while unknowingly keeping Jesus out as well. I was so afraid that if I opened up all of that hurt to someone that they would use it against me. But my desire to be completely free in Christ far surpassed the fear of hurt. So, I called my First Lady and told her EVERYTHING, and God in his infinite mercy laid things on her heart that I didn't even consciously realize I was holding on to.  She lovinglytold me "We are going to get to the root of all of this so there is nothing left over." Opening up to someone (with wisdom) is key!

"Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." James 5:16
God is so awesome,  His timing, His will, and His plan are perfect!!  Not only did He place me under Godly leadership, but he gave me a Fisrt Lady after my own heart, someone who fought the same battle of unforgiveness because of similar pain from her past.

She said to me, "The only way you are going to be completely free of this is to spend TIME before God crying out to him and giving it all to Him" This was the difference, I had prayed on this situation many times before but I typically don't spend much time in prayer praying for myself because I am an intercessor.  When someone hurts you, it wounds you. And like a physical wound the deeper it is, the longer it takes to heal and the more you have to do to reach that healing.  In my attempts at forgiveness, I was putting a bandaid on a deep gash, I hid it from the light, didn't cleanse it and it became infected. That spiritual infection manifested in physical pain.

Tuesday morning was the first morning I spent all of my prayer time speaking Gods word of deliverance over MY life. The more I prayed the more I began to feel healing in my body, even as I type this the pain in my body is becoming weaker and weaker. 

For me, my unforgiveness manifested in sickness, and led to other demonic seeds of rejection and fear that have postponed my purpose in ministry. I worried for years that I wasn't ready, that the things God placed in my were too big for me to accomplish.  I talked myself into believing the things He showed me for my life were my own dreams and not His divine plans for me. But by God's grace, those seeds are being uprooted and my victory is at hand and I WILL do all that He has set before me to do (2 Peter 3:9/Jer 29:11). My life, my past and the pain that came along with it are not my own - Everything belongs to Him.

If you are holding unforgiveness, I admonish you to take this journey with me, it may be long and it may be hard but in the end it will all be worth it!!

"I now take down the ungodly walls meant to protect me. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and can endure whatever is necessary that lies before me."

Click here to link to a site with anti-stronghold scriptures. I printed them off and I read OUT LOUD the "forgiveness of sins" and "deliverance" scriptures in the morning before work and in the evening before bed.

God Bless You!!!